After an unexpected promotion you are now the lead surgeon for a rugby team; hammer pimples with sausages, seal cuts with hot wax, and use your trusty pen-knife to amputate. All to get your team back up to peak condition.
Shoot your way through masses of enemies in as a vertical shooter between randomly generated twin-stick shooter missions aboard gigantic enemy motherships.
Explore a mysterious, foggy woodland, investigating the mysterious relic that form a breadcrumb trail to your ultimate goal, an escape from immortality.
Travel through a deadly world, using your weapon to outwit your enemies, kill your foes, and also serve as a platform that you might scale the unruly terrain.
The list of this year's Oscar winners has been stolen, and, for some reason, President Obama himself wants you on the case, despite an apparent lack of qualifications, experience or even basic morals.
Oversee the lost villagers as they tame the wilderness and build a home for themselves; employ careful resource management so as not to overfarm or overuse else you'll doom your future with your lack of planning.