Can I turn minnows into millions in Megaquarium?
As a businessman, I know plenty about money and not a lot about fish. Why would I? It’s not like I can put fish in the bank or use them for a downpayment on a yacht that I could then use to catch more fish. With that said, I understand that there is a market for people that want to see some marvelous marine life, so I set about putting some funds towards creating my own low-key version of Sea World in Megaquarium. I mean, how hard can it be to put a few goldfish in a bowl and charge people to look at it?
With a small venue acquired, I’ve put together a ticket stall and a couple of fish tanks. Having popped down to the local pet shop and picked up a handful of tiny sea creatures —angelfish they told me — I’ve set up some small displays for paying customers to marvel at! The person running the till mentioned something about cleaning the water, but it didn’t seem too important at the time so I’ve just dropped them in and let them get on with it. Here’s to those first few pennies rolling in! I’ve got a good eel-ing about this.
So the clean water thing turned out to be quite important. Not only that, but apparently you need to feed fish too, so that was a bit of a revelation. I just assumed they would eat each other. Anyway, my collection of piscine pals is a lot smaller now, so I might want to restock based on the fact that the paying customers didn’t seem too impressed with my display of unwell urchins. I’ve invested in some — what did they call them now? — ah yes, “filters” to keep the water clean. The guy at the pet shop eyed me a little more suspiciously this time. I might need to find a better sea life supplier when I expand.
For cod’s sake. Things are still not going too well. A science nerd I hired told me that the fish I have bought are tropical. I asked if that meant I need to give them some sort of fancy fruit juice but was quickly met with some sort of disbelieving stare. Apparently tropical fish need to be in warm water, so filling the tanks from the taps just wasn’t going to cut it. I’ve purchased some heaters to try to help the third load of codswallop I buy to survive. I’m going to keep the science bod on hand as they seem to know what they’re on about. They might even be able to help me get some species that they don’t sell at the pet shop.
Success of sorts! The fish in my Megaquarium are thriving — by which I mean “not dying” — and some customers seem fairly happy. The money isn’t great as I’m currently operating on a huge loss, but it’s a start. My science genius has managed to find someone who wants to offload a load of old pollocks, so I’m going to put them in a tank in the hopes that they are of interest to the paying public too! I can feel the marine money is within my grasp. I’m sure those customers will be having a whale of a time. Whales are fish, right?
Right! Brilliant! So my science buddy neglected to tell me that some fish don’t like warm water. WHY ARE FISH SO COMPLICATED?! I found a way of chilling the water just as the pollock were on their last legs — even though they don’t have any legs at all — and they seem to be alive and “well”. Whilst the customers are happy enough, I can’t help but feel I need something more significant to bring in more paying punters. I’ll sleep on it.
I’VE GOT IT! It came to me in a booze-addled dream! SHARKS! It seems so obvious to me now. I’ve seem Jurassic World — well, some of it — and if there’s one message I took away from that film, it’s that people want giant, deadly animals within touching distance! My scientific consultant is carping on that they don’t trust me to bring in something quite so dangerous, but I don’t pay them for advice on sharks! I make some calls to some fishing pals of mine, and manage to find someone who’s willing to get me some sharks. They don’t sound shady at all and this is all above board, I promise.
I was right about one thing at least, I can rely on the animals to eat each other rather than feed them if I really want. Those sharks made short work of some of the smaller fish friends I put them with. Maybe science person was right and I shouldn’t be trusted to acquire sea creatures that I know nothing about in the glorious pursuit of sweet cash. I’ve put them in charge of pretty much everything marine-based, and I’ve figure out exactly how I can make heaps of money in this venture. MERCH! Sweet, sweet merch! T-Shirts! Hats! Balloons! If there’s one thing I can rely on, it’s people buying from the gift shop on the way out to help them forget the aqua atrocities they saw here today. At least I’ll be able to recoup some losses for the time being. Although I’ve just had an interesting idea about jellyfish…